Holy fucking shit! Have You've been rooting around inside my head? Your words ring so true. I am going to read this post everyday until I can achieve some Joy. Right now, my mantra is "I am here". This might seem lame but it is as much as I can drum up. I am also not afraid of dying. There are things much worse than death.
Yes to all of this. There are things much worse than death, though that sounds like news in our death-phobic culture. “I am here,” does not seem lame to me at all. Mine started out “I am joy.” Now, it’s just the single word, Joy. I used it as a mantra just this week at the dentist’s. When I call for the awareness of myself as joy, it comes. I’m so glad we met, even if only virtually. So glad.
This is such an important essay. Filled with current information(I didn't know about the agent hitting the woman..and the frog etc in Portland!) Your words from your heart and insistence on joy and openness being the container, not as a trade- in for anger, fear, even death, but alongside of… . Thank you! And my goodness I adore that photo of you. Your author photo I think. Perfect. Brilliant. Gorgeous!
Thank you Katharine. You words are a balm. For the times, they are a-changing. We are fully in it now. There’s nothing to it but to go through it. Joy is the only container large enough to carry that load. I always so delighted to see your responses.
- JOY in facing down the storm and not backing away.
-JOY in repudiating the patriarchal system and staying open to a better way.
- JOY in standing strong and embracing our sisters and brothers who are sons and daughters and parents and grandparents who believe that goodness and kindness are strengths.
- JOY in persisting, in resisting those with hate in their hearts and holsters on their hips.
Thank you, Susan, for naming the JOY today.
You've given me a framework for hope even as they do their best to eradicate all that is GOOD.
I have been posting MY DAILY JOY in Notes on my Substack, Releasing Memory, most recently about how seeking out JOY, especially in community, rewires the brain for more.
What I was missing is this ferocity that you've brought to the page, Susan. Brava!
This week, I'll be posting my new pantoum, "Spirit of '26", introduced in a way that highlights the tensions--ferociously. Your insistence here gave me the insights to marry the joy and the pain without diminishing either.
Yes! I am interested. I used to teach the pantoum to high school kids. I love the form. Someone posted on this essay about incandescent joy. That's the ticket. I think the fierceness is necessary. Thanks for calling it out. We grow to meet the times. I'm so glad you are paying attention to joy in a public way. Joy is the antidote to helplessness.
I love this Susan. I was just saying to my sister that I think I've found the balance of finding joy IN my anger. Because my anger is righteous and right, and it it joyful not to suppress that. There is joy in acknowledging it, learning to use it. But also, I want to thank you for the reminder to frame the toxicity of the system itself. Not the sex, not the gender or the 'inity', but the system. Sometimes, in my joy, I forget.
I’m so glad about all of this. We can change the system. We must. The system kills people in order to perpetuate itself. It’s too expensive in both lives and misery.
I love every single thing about this. I am incandescent with joy, and folded over with grief, and i will spit out the blood in my mouth and smile at the abusive Proud Boys like a mother. Thank you for the rallying cry.
My particular joy is the hummingbirds. Someone once said they were made of joy. I've never forgotten it, but they are fierce, too. Just being themselves. I love that.
Susan, This is one of my favorites. I could share and underline all of it. I did!
"Some days, before the joy comes, I sit with my mouth gaping, sobs wracking my whole body, and I don’t even know why. There’s no story. Just body crying."
Well done, sister. Yes imagine a leadership of elder women, we all come from the mother. Thank you! with love, P
You can’t have a leadership of elder women if you can’t imagine it. It’s the thing that could save us. A high percentage of those elder women should be of color… colorful… flamboyant… flippant… and deadly serious.
I think we are finally at a place where enough of us can love all the women. Boys and men are a natural addition after that. Save the women and children first, though.
The only thing I really could think of to say was, “Wow.” I didn’t sleep last night so was bleary-headed when I read it. I decided “Thank you” was at least a little more coherent. I want to read it again, because it says so much.
Do you remember Rosey Grier, the ex-football player? He sang on the groundbreaking album, "Free to Be You and Me." His song, "It's Alright to Cry," was gorgeous. I just found the video for it, and it made me sob. 1974. 52 years ago. There was another piece on that album, "William's Doll." Things could be so different for the whole world if men were allowed to feel, to cry, to be gentle souls instead of angry predators. This is a magnificent essay, and I will be using it as my reference when I need to be reminded that JOY is the only way forward, the container for everything else. Thank you for your wisdom and for sharing it with us. I hope everyone reads this post. And I love that you're referring to ICE as the Proud Boys. You said it.
I do remember Rosey Grier! I didn't remember the song, though. I'm listening to it now. It's making me feel better. That last like is so unpretentiously beautiful. Like Rosey. Someone posted a John Cena commercial from 2015 that slayed, too. So much damage has been done in our 400 or so year history as colonizers. That's why joy is the way forward. Joy heals. Retribution can only give us more of what we are looking at now. We still need accountability. That's different than retribution. I honestly think we are going to come out of this reconing stronger and better. Right now, we are eating our shadow. We have a lot of darkness to face, a lot of terrible behavior to unpack. We aren't there yet.
Thank you Susan. In South Africa, for hundreds of years - yes, hundreds - the flame was kept alive by the saying "If you strike a woman, you strike a rock" (Wathint’ abafazi wathinti’ imbokodo), which was the rallying cry, particularly in the marches in the 1950's.
your writings are so mesmerizing to me. There’s so much to unpack here for me. I’m not able to watch much news anymore. I read and listen to as much as I’m mentally able to take in. I’m not debating type of individual so I avoid these discussions with others. There’s so much judgment if one’s ideals don’t match a family member or friend. It’s quite interesting how we can discuss and disagree of other subjects but the politics today…
Nope. Keeping my mouth shut!
I’ll hold on my piece of Joy that no one can see. I’ll keep it to myself, wrap it around me like a cozy blanket.
One take-away from yoga that made an impact on me was the explanation of happiness vs joy. Happiness is temporary, a fleeting high. Joy allows me to feel grateful for what I have. Joy is a choice!!
And about being a fucking bitch…I feel like I should speak up more to earn this label. Seriously! No elaboration at this point.
Looking out the window seeing the clouds darken, the wind picking up speed, the raindrops turning into sheets of water. That thunderstorm is going to happen even if we (I) close the shades.
Exactly. I feel this. It’s not necessary to debate or constantly read the news. If there is something to do you will know it. I think of joy as a cozy blanket so often. Sometimes, it’s my secret. I think it’s a transformative power whether you speak of it or not. I agree with you completely, especially on the difference between joy and mere happiness. It’s good that everyone has their own path. We have what we need to weather the storm.
I'm all for the grandmothers that have alchemized their pain being in positions of power. I'm all for matrifocal communities, egalitarian, caring, compassion based. All for the end of toxic patriarchy that uses violence to keep their power. It's just plain outright disgusting. And I'm with you Susan, I'm not going to let that affect my inner joy of meeting life as a woven blanket that we are all swaddled in. Great piece! Thanks.
I'm blown away by your writing. I'll need to come back and reread. I love your magical thinking and resolve: "Open my heart, fill me with joy." Joy is a powerful pushback. But at the same time, you allow yourself to feel everything - the very not joyful stuff too.
"Imagine if the Supreme Court were made up of grandmothers who had alchemized their pain into joy." - wow. And yes, imagine!
I saw that report about the Proud Boy's exchange with that woman, too, and was horrified. Such courage she showed in her response, though he slapped her and knocked her phone out of her hand. That part I had somehow missed.
It's quite the times we are living in, and yet, I don't feel hopeless. Women will not be silenced or forced into submission. And we are bigger than we think. Together (men included) we can accomplish so much.
Thank you for this amazing, inspirational, very real piece of writing. I love it.
Thanks, Nancy! I love the things you pick out. I don't feel hopeless either. The threats to women on Faux and Sinclair outlets are unmasked. Submit, liberal white women, or you could be killed. They are even claiming that the man who shot Renee Good sustained internal injuries from being struck by her car. Obviously, they are not playing the video. This is why their approval rating stays at around 39% no matter what they do. But 39% means there are a lot of us.
Holy fucking shit! Have You've been rooting around inside my head? Your words ring so true. I am going to read this post everyday until I can achieve some Joy. Right now, my mantra is "I am here". This might seem lame but it is as much as I can drum up. I am also not afraid of dying. There are things much worse than death.
Yes to all of this. There are things much worse than death, though that sounds like news in our death-phobic culture. “I am here,” does not seem lame to me at all. Mine started out “I am joy.” Now, it’s just the single word, Joy. I used it as a mantra just this week at the dentist’s. When I call for the awareness of myself as joy, it comes. I’m so glad we met, even if only virtually. So glad.
Oh Susan,
This is such an important essay. Filled with current information(I didn't know about the agent hitting the woman..and the frog etc in Portland!) Your words from your heart and insistence on joy and openness being the container, not as a trade- in for anger, fear, even death, but alongside of… . Thank you! And my goodness I adore that photo of you. Your author photo I think. Perfect. Brilliant. Gorgeous!
Thank you Katharine. You words are a balm. For the times, they are a-changing. We are fully in it now. There’s nothing to it but to go through it. Joy is the only container large enough to carry that load. I always so delighted to see your responses.
You've named it: once we name our pain, JOY.
- JOY in facing down the storm and not backing away.
-JOY in repudiating the patriarchal system and staying open to a better way.
- JOY in standing strong and embracing our sisters and brothers who are sons and daughters and parents and grandparents who believe that goodness and kindness are strengths.
- JOY in persisting, in resisting those with hate in their hearts and holsters on their hips.
Thank you, Susan, for naming the JOY today.
You've given me a framework for hope even as they do their best to eradicate all that is GOOD.
What you give your attention to gets bigger.
Thank you for such a gorgeous response. You get this.
I have been posting MY DAILY JOY in Notes on my Substack, Releasing Memory, most recently about how seeking out JOY, especially in community, rewires the brain for more.
What I was missing is this ferocity that you've brought to the page, Susan. Brava!
This week, I'll be posting my new pantoum, "Spirit of '26", introduced in a way that highlights the tensions--ferociously. Your insistence here gave me the insights to marry the joy and the pain without diminishing either.
If you're interested, here is "My Joy Manifesto" https://substack.com/profile/22747167-robin-payes/note/c-197425240
Yes! I am interested. I used to teach the pantoum to high school kids. I love the form. Someone posted on this essay about incandescent joy. That's the ticket. I think the fierceness is necessary. Thanks for calling it out. We grow to meet the times. I'm so glad you are paying attention to joy in a public way. Joy is the antidote to helplessness.
Yes, and the more we do it, the more it grows.
And btw, I love pantoum, too. Amazing how the line pattern scrambles and punks up the sense of things.
I love this Susan. I was just saying to my sister that I think I've found the balance of finding joy IN my anger. Because my anger is righteous and right, and it it joyful not to suppress that. There is joy in acknowledging it, learning to use it. But also, I want to thank you for the reminder to frame the toxicity of the system itself. Not the sex, not the gender or the 'inity', but the system. Sometimes, in my joy, I forget.
I’m so glad about all of this. We can change the system. We must. The system kills people in order to perpetuate itself. It’s too expensive in both lives and misery.
I love every single thing about this. I am incandescent with joy, and folded over with grief, and i will spit out the blood in my mouth and smile at the abusive Proud Boys like a mother. Thank you for the rallying cry.
Thank you for the gorgeous response. I love the phrase “incandescent with joy.” I’ll be stealing that.
Steal away! xo
I look out my kitchen window and see the little birds frolicking in the garden. There’s so much joy in their lightness and quickness. Thank you.
My particular joy is the hummingbirds. Someone once said they were made of joy. I've never forgotten it, but they are fierce, too. Just being themselves. I love that.
Superb! That sky holds us. Allways.
No matter the weather.
No matter the weather.
Susan, This is one of my favorites. I could share and underline all of it. I did!
"Some days, before the joy comes, I sit with my mouth gaping, sobs wracking my whole body, and I don’t even know why. There’s no story. Just body crying."
Well done, sister. Yes imagine a leadership of elder women, we all come from the mother. Thank you! with love, P
You can’t have a leadership of elder women if you can’t imagine it. It’s the thing that could save us. A high percentage of those elder women should be of color… colorful… flamboyant… flippant… and deadly serious.
Maybe this is what we are here to do, gather the women of all colors, shapes, .... salty bithches for sure!
I think we are finally at a place where enough of us can love all the women. Boys and men are a natural addition after that. Save the women and children first, though.
Oh yes, that is my call — unavoidable.
Thank you.
Thanks for telling me this part. I’m with you in those wee hours. I think we’re going to make it though.
Absolutlely. Thank you for reading and commenting.
The only thing I really could think of to say was, “Wow.” I didn’t sleep last night so was bleary-headed when I read it. I decided “Thank you” was at least a little more coherent. I want to read it again, because it says so much.
Do you remember Rosey Grier, the ex-football player? He sang on the groundbreaking album, "Free to Be You and Me." His song, "It's Alright to Cry," was gorgeous. I just found the video for it, and it made me sob. 1974. 52 years ago. There was another piece on that album, "William's Doll." Things could be so different for the whole world if men were allowed to feel, to cry, to be gentle souls instead of angry predators. This is a magnificent essay, and I will be using it as my reference when I need to be reminded that JOY is the only way forward, the container for everything else. Thank you for your wisdom and for sharing it with us. I hope everyone reads this post. And I love that you're referring to ICE as the Proud Boys. You said it.
Rosey, singing.
https://youtu.be/1NfaXsSSVj8?si=TQXjtme9_VzfZM3V
I do remember Rosey Grier! I didn't remember the song, though. I'm listening to it now. It's making me feel better. That last like is so unpretentiously beautiful. Like Rosey. Someone posted a John Cena commercial from 2015 that slayed, too. So much damage has been done in our 400 or so year history as colonizers. That's why joy is the way forward. Joy heals. Retribution can only give us more of what we are looking at now. We still need accountability. That's different than retribution. I honestly think we are going to come out of this reconing stronger and better. Right now, we are eating our shadow. We have a lot of darkness to face, a lot of terrible behavior to unpack. We aren't there yet.
The 'men' ... most of them were not up to it.
Unfortunately, you are right. Our culture doesn't support men. I wish it did.
Thank you Susan. In South Africa, for hundreds of years - yes, hundreds - the flame was kept alive by the saying "If you strike a woman, you strike a rock" (Wathint’ abafazi wathinti’ imbokodo), which was the rallying cry, particularly in the marches in the 1950's.
Susan,
your writings are so mesmerizing to me. There’s so much to unpack here for me. I’m not able to watch much news anymore. I read and listen to as much as I’m mentally able to take in. I’m not debating type of individual so I avoid these discussions with others. There’s so much judgment if one’s ideals don’t match a family member or friend. It’s quite interesting how we can discuss and disagree of other subjects but the politics today…
Nope. Keeping my mouth shut!
I’ll hold on my piece of Joy that no one can see. I’ll keep it to myself, wrap it around me like a cozy blanket.
One take-away from yoga that made an impact on me was the explanation of happiness vs joy. Happiness is temporary, a fleeting high. Joy allows me to feel grateful for what I have. Joy is a choice!!
And about being a fucking bitch…I feel like I should speak up more to earn this label. Seriously! No elaboration at this point.
Looking out the window seeing the clouds darken, the wind picking up speed, the raindrops turning into sheets of water. That thunderstorm is going to happen even if we (I) close the shades.
❤️
Exactly. I feel this. It’s not necessary to debate or constantly read the news. If there is something to do you will know it. I think of joy as a cozy blanket so often. Sometimes, it’s my secret. I think it’s a transformative power whether you speak of it or not. I agree with you completely, especially on the difference between joy and mere happiness. It’s good that everyone has their own path. We have what we need to weather the storm.
I'm all for the grandmothers that have alchemized their pain being in positions of power. I'm all for matrifocal communities, egalitarian, caring, compassion based. All for the end of toxic patriarchy that uses violence to keep their power. It's just plain outright disgusting. And I'm with you Susan, I'm not going to let that affect my inner joy of meeting life as a woven blanket that we are all swaddled in. Great piece! Thanks.
Thanks, Julie. Fearless joy is the answer.
Hi Susan,
I'm blown away by your writing. I'll need to come back and reread. I love your magical thinking and resolve: "Open my heart, fill me with joy." Joy is a powerful pushback. But at the same time, you allow yourself to feel everything - the very not joyful stuff too.
"Imagine if the Supreme Court were made up of grandmothers who had alchemized their pain into joy." - wow. And yes, imagine!
I saw that report about the Proud Boy's exchange with that woman, too, and was horrified. Such courage she showed in her response, though he slapped her and knocked her phone out of her hand. That part I had somehow missed.
It's quite the times we are living in, and yet, I don't feel hopeless. Women will not be silenced or forced into submission. And we are bigger than we think. Together (men included) we can accomplish so much.
Thank you for this amazing, inspirational, very real piece of writing. I love it.
Thanks, Nancy! I love the things you pick out. I don't feel hopeless either. The threats to women on Faux and Sinclair outlets are unmasked. Submit, liberal white women, or you could be killed. They are even claiming that the man who shot Renee Good sustained internal injuries from being struck by her car. Obviously, they are not playing the video. This is why their approval rating stays at around 39% no matter what they do. But 39% means there are a lot of us.
I appreciate your distinction between masculinity and patriarchy. Well done, as always. JOY!!!!
Thanks, Eileen,