Thank you for this cogent, compelling, and intensely stirring essay, Susan. What a catalyst for the conversations we need to be having! Your list of “There is no god who” statements speaks to me. Your points about individual and cultural addiction to dominance resonate. To my mind, honouring “soul” does not (and must not) equate to a desire to dominate others, or to worship those who do. It’s always ultimately in service of the greater good. And that includes the good of the natural world. Of course we’re impermanent. We’re here to be custodians and good ancestors. Yet it can take us years (if ever) to realize that—especially when we’re raised on the values inherent in a modern culture that looks primarily to the marketplace as the source of its good. One that separates us into many silos, not just the family unit.
I was familiar with the story of Maslow having revised his hierarchy, but had not learned about it before reading this piece. You’ve spelled it out beautifully and inspired me to do further research.
Of course there is so much wisdom to be learned from Indigenous teachers who recognize spirit and artistry at play in the myriad aspects of our lives. I recommend reading Quill Christie Peters’ 2025 book, On Wholeness. I think you’d value it.
Finally, your essay has spurred me to voice that “addiction to dominance” in our mainstream culture also shows up as the addiction to a strict form of rationalism and a desire to prove ourselves through argument. Opening the gates to other ways of receiving and expressing ideas, knowledge, and wisdom may be our crucial next step. In that respect, here’s a passage from another book I recommend, Anishinaabe Mino-Bimaadiziwin (The Way of a Good Life): An Examination of Anishinaabe Philosophy, Ethics and Traditional Knowledge by D’Arcy Reault:
“All things are interconnected; one’s place in Creation brings balance and belonging in the world. Nevertheless, since one interacts with the world in a mainly physical way, it is very difficult to see the physical-spiritual unity of Creation. The Anishinaabeg overcome this difficulty as a dream conscious people who understand that dreams and visions are a doorway into the more expanded dimension of actual reality…”
Thanks for your extraordinary depth of thought and care, Susan. I’m grateful for you.
Thank you for your extraordinary comment. I’ll follow up with the recommendations. I agree wholeheartedly about argumentation and debate being about dominance. Also, our scientific method’s need to reduce things to their lowest common denominator is a way to be bigger than wholeness, a way to dominate the world because there is an “I” who contains the knowledge and is therefore, bigger. So rich. Thank you so much.
Brilliant, Susan. I would take issue with one piece of your analysis. With what's coming out in the Epstein revelations, I would say there's a global elite that is using the collective to maximize community actualization for their own well-being, but in a malevolent, manipulative way: it is not always a virtuous cycle.
That shadow force has been long moving underground, integrating a web of money, power and coercion, a silent and silencing force, but this eruption is shifting tectonic plates beneath the surface into the open and this is the hope: the more we see and face this shadow, as you have so brilliantly observed, the more we can shift the cycle towards creating a more compassionate community.
Thank you for helping us see the possibilities for growth. Green shoots emerging!
I couldn’t agree more. Honestly, I think that the Epstein Revelations will be the thing that ends our version of the fascist takeover. My thoughts this week turned to my own countrymen voting for this cruelty and cheering it. I chose to focus only on what’s happening in the US, but you are right. It’s much bigger than that. We are only one part of a global movement launched by the “malevolent, manipulative elite” we helped create and fund, with our sweat and taxes paid to them through government contracts to people like Musk and Thiel. We have to stop funding our own demise. They want to end countries and impose spheres of influence under their rule. Honestly, I think this is WW3, and we are already in it. When the money trail is finally uncovered, from Russia with love, Trump et al are finished. I hear England holds the receipts. It’s only a matter of time. The truth will out. Always. That’s how the shadow works. They can’t control synchronicity. They are not in charge.
Many people currently uncovering and connecting receipts. I recommend Zev Shalev at Narativ on Substack who's been doing the detective work for the past decade. And yes, Russia.
Wow! So well thought out and articulated in this essay. I have been thinking about it all last night and this morning after I read it. I had to fight that knee jerk reaction to be like “How is this my fault?!” Which I think makes your point better than anything else. I did not want look at things with truly open eyes and without the us vs them mentality, which will do nothing but continue to divide us. Yes we are all culpable and we have to own up to it
I love this response. I’m so glad the ideas stuck with you. Are we all guilty? No. Not at all. Are we all responsible? Yes. Yes we are. We have the ability to respond to the whole breadth of our history and privildege - even those of us hurt by it, too. I certainly was. “Without the us vs. them” mentality we are a we. It’s our responsibility to listen and then to be honest. Action follows honesty. Thank you Amanda!
It’s worth looking for documentation on how Rwanda dealt with their truth and reconciliation in the aftermath of genocide. Community by community truths were shared and reconciled.
I hadn’t thought about this but you are right. That situation is even more fraught because it wasn’t geographically split into red states and blue. It was this house and that one.
My friend's husband is a German man in his 60s who immigrated to the US in his 20s. We were visiting around July 4th a few years ago and he asked "what is the American obsession with flag waving?" He explained that the nationalistic fervor most Americans display -especially around the4th- is frowned upon in Germany- it's considered quite low class and rude unless it is at a government event or location. He was born in the 50s like me and remembered the post-WWII poverty and reconstruction after the war. He also remembered the shame that permeated the culture then. Nationalistic pride was frowned upon as "too close to the flame" in his words. Certainly Germany and Europe have their far right leaning groups, but it seemed, from his point of view that those groups are frowned on in the general culture. I guess I'm hoping that we can come out of this with some values intact and recover. Sometimes it seems impossible when the conservative view point is that anything in opposition to their point of view is a lie.
Yes. I agree. I think flag waving patriotism is low class and rude. I object to the national anthem at sporting events because is subtly equated athetic competition to war. I could go on a rant here, but I’ll pull back from the edge. My hope is that we can come back from this waaaaay before we have to get to the utter devastation that was WW2. I’m not sure we can, but I take hope from how hard the populace is fighting back. Plus the 1930s Germans did not have social media and phone cameras to document the lies of their government, so the people who opposed could really only shut up if they wanted to live. We have more options. We are using them. I take hope from that. I still think we can get out of this before the next election. If we wait until the next election, I fear we are lost for decades.
Wow. There is so much in here. I read it the other day and came back for round two. Which parts should I pull to comment on?
Your opening hit me as I've been taling about this within my family for a long time. We do not have a democracy. I don't think we ever have, but these days, there isn't even an attempt by those in power to consider what the people want. And yet, I still believe in the power of "we the people". We're seeing it in MN and elsewhere.
Making amends. Is it even possible? Reparations will never happen because how many times have we heard, "I'm not responsible for what happened back then"?
I think what's at the heart of our problems is society's worship of wealth (power), lack of concern and empathy for those who have less, disregard for welfare of others, and on and on. This is totally related to patriarchal dominance, too, of course.
The questions you raised about MAGA are interesting. I have a couple family members who are still entrenched in what I consider a cult. Still good people. Still family. I can't cut them off. It's not possible to reach the unreachable, but I can still love them. Damn, it's hard, though.
One final observation - my daughter-in-law is from the Philippines, and her culture is way more matrifocal centered. Women, especially elderly women, are held in deep regard. Much like the indigenous nations. It's an extremely poor country, too, so a lot of folks might say, "See? Look where that got them."
I love this response, Nancy. Thank you for sending it. I think loving your family is a profoundly strong choice. I’m not letting go either. Making amends is not possible, still, we have to try. As to the poverty of matrifocal cultures in a patriarchal world, this is exactly the system we have to change. The fact is, that if we made this shift, not only would we be happier, but we would be wealthier, too. Each individual would gain a share of the obscene profits of the billionaire class. That would float every boat. Our unpaid labor contributes to this as much as our paid labor does. Thank you so much.
Dear Susan, Thank you for this piece. Reading it stirred varied feelings in me. And please excuse if my thoughts a maybe a bit disjointed. I am still struggling with my own health and concentration.
I notice I feel resistance when language carries strong appeals about what “we must” or “we should” do - I find my body tenses, wanting space to arrive at understanding through my own exploration rather than through conviction. At the same time, I recognize many parallel conclusions in your writing to ones I’ve reached through my own inquiry.
I’m drawn to your emphasis on interconnectedness as essential for peaceful coexistence. I find myself wondering about the foundation underneath - specifically, how the very language and communication patterns we’ve inherited shape what becomes possible. I notice I hold a different orientation around the concept you name as transcendence. My experience suggests that turning toward what is present - the harm, the conditioning, the patterns we’ve learned - offers more possibility than moving beyond or above. I think of it as a kind of turning inward and downward, meeting what lives in our minds and bodies in this moment, opening our hearts to whatever we discover there rather than seeking to rise above it.
Your point about individual work resonates deeply with me, and I notice I want to expand it slightly. The work of examining each belief, value, conditioned behavior, and social norm I’ve followed - checking each against my inner being, my heart, my soul, and releasing what doesn’t align - this has been the most liberating practice of my life. I’m still engaged in it. This work has transformed how I meet the world.
Living in Germany, I’ve witnessed what happens when collective shame remains unaddressed. I’ve seen what occurs when societal reckoning happens for future generations but not for those who lived through upheaval and participated in it - when societies choose surface-level restructuring rather than addressing underlying shame and systemic foundations, as happened here unlike in South Africa’s truth and reconciliation process.
Thank you for this thoughtful response. I particularly appreciate this: “I’m drawn to your emphasis on interconnectedness as essential for peaceful coexistence. I find myself wondering about the foundation underneath - specifically, how the very language and communication patterns we’ve inherited shape what becomes possible. I notice I hold a different orientation around the concept you name as transcendence. My experience suggests that turning toward what is present - the harm, the conditioning, the patterns we’ve learned - offers more possibility than moving beyond or above. I think of it as a kind of turning inward and downward, meeting what lives in our minds and bodies in this moment, opening our hearts to whatever we discover there rather than seeking to rise above it.”
I couldn’t agree more. That language of transcendence is Maslow’s attempt at understanding the Blackfeet Nation’s interconnectedness. I also don’t think transcendence is a helpful way of framing this. I could have been clearer and taken issue with not only Jung, but Maslow, too. I was thinking he was pointing to the learned ability to set the ego aside and put the needs of the community before the needs of the ego. I could have been clearer.
I agree that the movement toward the self isn’t up, into transcendence, but “down and in,” into the human, into the body, into the problem. The cornerstone of my practice is the willingness to see it all and, most importantly, to feel it all.
Sorry about the “must” and “should” language. You’re right about that, too, of course, but the times here are so fraught. People are dying, and so many want retribution and revenge. And I feel the need to say: We must not do that. We must embrace our neighbors who voted for this. I feel that very strongly and reach for the strongest language I can find. I am yet, imperfect.
Susan, I see from your answer that we are on the same page. As you are often back what you write with scientific evidence I’d like to invite you to look up Thomas Gordon‘s Barriers to Communication. Unfortunately my other source is only available in German, apart from Non violent communication.
Ohhhhh, thank you, thank you, thank you. Sincerely. I never know when I click publish if I’ve just made a terrible mistake or not. I finally stopped caring, but I must admit, I still wonder.
Oh gosh. Definitely. It was sooo well voiced and I could feel your truth and heart in this piece. I so hear you about clicking “publish” and wondering…how we care but don’t care, we learn a bit of detachment yet also still wonder and are curious about. It is a courageous thing to put ourselves out there! I am being called to even more deeply share - without over exposing myself which doesn’t feel right AND also speaking from a depth inside of me that wants to be in the light.
Whew, Susan. This is really, really good. What's next? The sky is the limit if we surrender and dare to imagine how things could be, and yet surrendering feels so counter-intuitive at times--the addiction, like you say. For myself, I'd say it's an addiction to control, because being out of control is terrifying. But how many of us can truly feel in control right now? Now I have to go and ponder. This is also the part of my cycle where I decide that we should just go on all the fancy vacations because we're all doomed anyway-before the control part takes over again.
I’ve never met a writer or an aratist of any stripe who wasn’t obsessive and in control. Maybe that’s our shadow. I love that part, too though, almost as much as I love competence and a sense of mastery that editing gives me. My part in the give-up-cycle is where I find the perfect little house in the woods and all my needs are met and I live in nature as a comfortable hermit and let the rest of the world be damned,
So much common sense in this. As a reader of Jung, struggling for “individuation” it became clear that does not occur outside of tribe. Tribe isn’t always family of origin but then that problem tracks exactly into what you diagnose here. Our toxic families are truly starved of the health of interconnection. We are running on fumes. Sending you many hearts of recognition.
Thank you so much, Janet. I think “tribe” is what many of us get from recovery programs and spiritual traditions and cobbled together communities. It’s the thing missing in Jung, in my humble, this bedrock belief in individualism. So often in the dominant culture our families of origin are so damaged they cannot hold us. Mine was. Thank you for reading and commenting so thoughfully.
Sure, but maybe we have to change the advisory: "if you meet a billionaire along the road, kill him / or her, to taste." And add a codicil: "all assets over $50 million must be forfeit to a (real) 'sovereign wealth fund' with independent board members" - I have some nominees in mind, and I'm sure everyone else does too. Let’s take this ‘imagine’ game to its logical conclusion.
It writes itself (too many 'it's), but you know what I mean.
And ...
... maybe we have to change the advisory: "if you meet a billionaire along the road, kill him / or her, to taste." And add a codicil: "all assets over $50 million must be forfeit to a (real) 'sovereign wealth fund' with independent board members" - I have some nominees in mind, and I'm sure everyone else does too. Let’s take this ‘imagine’ game to it’s logical conclusion.
Although I miss my father, I have been grateful that he did not have to see the ugliness our country has descended into. However, what he saw was ugly enough. Thank you for your beautiful essay.
This is the best, most brilliant, genius writing ever. I agree with you almost 100%. Where I differ:
"How do you tell a raging alcoholic how much better life can be if they would just stop drinking?" Not drinking is just the preparation for the work. Drinking is the manifestation and coping mechanism employed to bury the things that are at the core of our dysfunction. It has to happen to be able to meet humility and join with it. There are a lot of people who have stopped drinking who aren't close to sobriety at all. They're just not drinking. It's not the same. I know you know this, but it might be misconstrued.
And, this, "This means reparations, surely it does, because what are reparations but another way to say amends?" Again, reparations if they're financial are only a payoff, a transaction unless the attitude/behaviors that fueled the necessity for reparations in the first place, change. Then it's an amends, not a temporary bandage. I had to learn in program that making an amends is not the same as an apology. That clarification made such a huge difference in my understanding of what recovery truly is. And your essay speaks so brilliantly to true amends by creating a massive cultural shift and transformation of toxic belief systems that are killing the planet and the humans and other animals who reside here, because of Grace. I do believe, more than ever, that the gods aren't going to stand for much more of this crap we've created.
If we don't get our shit together, there will come a time (and it's not that far away), that we all get kicked out of the garden again. Eve didn't deserve it. But we will. We have so many riches. It's time to stop squandering them, look Love in the eye, and say, "I surrender. I need to learn a better way. I love you, Susan Kacvinsky. Grace put you in my life. xo
I can't believe my response to you didn't post, or I clicked off before finishing it. IDK, but I loved your thoughtful response, and all your points are well taken. You're right about reparations, too, being only a transaction unless we do the full Truth and Reconciliation process and really change. Otherwise, it's only money, though I'm sure many would say the money matters, too. Finally, I may be too hopeful, but I think we are in the messy process of getting our shit together, which always begins with seeing the extent of the problem. I think that's what a shadow eruption is. I surrender to the whole mess, to seeing it, to doing better. I'm so glad you are in my life, too.
Thank you for this cogent, compelling, and intensely stirring essay, Susan. What a catalyst for the conversations we need to be having! Your list of “There is no god who” statements speaks to me. Your points about individual and cultural addiction to dominance resonate. To my mind, honouring “soul” does not (and must not) equate to a desire to dominate others, or to worship those who do. It’s always ultimately in service of the greater good. And that includes the good of the natural world. Of course we’re impermanent. We’re here to be custodians and good ancestors. Yet it can take us years (if ever) to realize that—especially when we’re raised on the values inherent in a modern culture that looks primarily to the marketplace as the source of its good. One that separates us into many silos, not just the family unit.
I was familiar with the story of Maslow having revised his hierarchy, but had not learned about it before reading this piece. You’ve spelled it out beautifully and inspired me to do further research.
Of course there is so much wisdom to be learned from Indigenous teachers who recognize spirit and artistry at play in the myriad aspects of our lives. I recommend reading Quill Christie Peters’ 2025 book, On Wholeness. I think you’d value it.
Finally, your essay has spurred me to voice that “addiction to dominance” in our mainstream culture also shows up as the addiction to a strict form of rationalism and a desire to prove ourselves through argument. Opening the gates to other ways of receiving and expressing ideas, knowledge, and wisdom may be our crucial next step. In that respect, here’s a passage from another book I recommend, Anishinaabe Mino-Bimaadiziwin (The Way of a Good Life): An Examination of Anishinaabe Philosophy, Ethics and Traditional Knowledge by D’Arcy Reault:
“All things are interconnected; one’s place in Creation brings balance and belonging in the world. Nevertheless, since one interacts with the world in a mainly physical way, it is very difficult to see the physical-spiritual unity of Creation. The Anishinaabeg overcome this difficulty as a dream conscious people who understand that dreams and visions are a doorway into the more expanded dimension of actual reality…”
Thanks for your extraordinary depth of thought and care, Susan. I’m grateful for you.
Thank you for your extraordinary comment. I’ll follow up with the recommendations. I agree wholeheartedly about argumentation and debate being about dominance. Also, our scientific method’s need to reduce things to their lowest common denominator is a way to be bigger than wholeness, a way to dominate the world because there is an “I” who contains the knowledge and is therefore, bigger. So rich. Thank you so much.
🙏
Brilliant, Susan. I would take issue with one piece of your analysis. With what's coming out in the Epstein revelations, I would say there's a global elite that is using the collective to maximize community actualization for their own well-being, but in a malevolent, manipulative way: it is not always a virtuous cycle.
That shadow force has been long moving underground, integrating a web of money, power and coercion, a silent and silencing force, but this eruption is shifting tectonic plates beneath the surface into the open and this is the hope: the more we see and face this shadow, as you have so brilliantly observed, the more we can shift the cycle towards creating a more compassionate community.
Thank you for helping us see the possibilities for growth. Green shoots emerging!
I couldn’t agree more. Honestly, I think that the Epstein Revelations will be the thing that ends our version of the fascist takeover. My thoughts this week turned to my own countrymen voting for this cruelty and cheering it. I chose to focus only on what’s happening in the US, but you are right. It’s much bigger than that. We are only one part of a global movement launched by the “malevolent, manipulative elite” we helped create and fund, with our sweat and taxes paid to them through government contracts to people like Musk and Thiel. We have to stop funding our own demise. They want to end countries and impose spheres of influence under their rule. Honestly, I think this is WW3, and we are already in it. When the money trail is finally uncovered, from Russia with love, Trump et al are finished. I hear England holds the receipts. It’s only a matter of time. The truth will out. Always. That’s how the shadow works. They can’t control synchronicity. They are not in charge.
Many people currently uncovering and connecting receipts. I recommend Zev Shalev at Narativ on Substack who's been doing the detective work for the past decade. And yes, Russia.
The journalist Julie K. Brown is also doing excellent work, also on Substack
Wow! So well thought out and articulated in this essay. I have been thinking about it all last night and this morning after I read it. I had to fight that knee jerk reaction to be like “How is this my fault?!” Which I think makes your point better than anything else. I did not want look at things with truly open eyes and without the us vs them mentality, which will do nothing but continue to divide us. Yes we are all culpable and we have to own up to it
I love this response. I’m so glad the ideas stuck with you. Are we all guilty? No. Not at all. Are we all responsible? Yes. Yes we are. We have the ability to respond to the whole breadth of our history and privildege - even those of us hurt by it, too. I certainly was. “Without the us vs. them” mentality we are a we. It’s our responsibility to listen and then to be honest. Action follows honesty. Thank you Amanda!
It’s worth looking for documentation on how Rwanda dealt with their truth and reconciliation in the aftermath of genocide. Community by community truths were shared and reconciled.
I hadn’t thought about this but you are right. That situation is even more fraught because it wasn’t geographically split into red states and blue. It was this house and that one.
Thank you for this thought-provoking read.
My friend's husband is a German man in his 60s who immigrated to the US in his 20s. We were visiting around July 4th a few years ago and he asked "what is the American obsession with flag waving?" He explained that the nationalistic fervor most Americans display -especially around the4th- is frowned upon in Germany- it's considered quite low class and rude unless it is at a government event or location. He was born in the 50s like me and remembered the post-WWII poverty and reconstruction after the war. He also remembered the shame that permeated the culture then. Nationalistic pride was frowned upon as "too close to the flame" in his words. Certainly Germany and Europe have their far right leaning groups, but it seemed, from his point of view that those groups are frowned on in the general culture. I guess I'm hoping that we can come out of this with some values intact and recover. Sometimes it seems impossible when the conservative view point is that anything in opposition to their point of view is a lie.
Yes. I agree. I think flag waving patriotism is low class and rude. I object to the national anthem at sporting events because is subtly equated athetic competition to war. I could go on a rant here, but I’ll pull back from the edge. My hope is that we can come back from this waaaaay before we have to get to the utter devastation that was WW2. I’m not sure we can, but I take hope from how hard the populace is fighting back. Plus the 1930s Germans did not have social media and phone cameras to document the lies of their government, so the people who opposed could really only shut up if they wanted to live. We have more options. We are using them. I take hope from that. I still think we can get out of this before the next election. If we wait until the next election, I fear we are lost for decades.
Hi Susan,
Wow. There is so much in here. I read it the other day and came back for round two. Which parts should I pull to comment on?
Your opening hit me as I've been taling about this within my family for a long time. We do not have a democracy. I don't think we ever have, but these days, there isn't even an attempt by those in power to consider what the people want. And yet, I still believe in the power of "we the people". We're seeing it in MN and elsewhere.
Making amends. Is it even possible? Reparations will never happen because how many times have we heard, "I'm not responsible for what happened back then"?
I think what's at the heart of our problems is society's worship of wealth (power), lack of concern and empathy for those who have less, disregard for welfare of others, and on and on. This is totally related to patriarchal dominance, too, of course.
The questions you raised about MAGA are interesting. I have a couple family members who are still entrenched in what I consider a cult. Still good people. Still family. I can't cut them off. It's not possible to reach the unreachable, but I can still love them. Damn, it's hard, though.
One final observation - my daughter-in-law is from the Philippines, and her culture is way more matrifocal centered. Women, especially elderly women, are held in deep regard. Much like the indigenous nations. It's an extremely poor country, too, so a lot of folks might say, "See? Look where that got them."
Brilliant, thought-provoking piece. Thank you.
I love this response, Nancy. Thank you for sending it. I think loving your family is a profoundly strong choice. I’m not letting go either. Making amends is not possible, still, we have to try. As to the poverty of matrifocal cultures in a patriarchal world, this is exactly the system we have to change. The fact is, that if we made this shift, not only would we be happier, but we would be wealthier, too. Each individual would gain a share of the obscene profits of the billionaire class. That would float every boat. Our unpaid labor contributes to this as much as our paid labor does. Thank you so much.
Susan, well done, you've provided a lot. Keep posting. Tom
Oh wow. Thank you Tom. I can’t tell you enough how much I love you and how grateful I am for your unwavering support. You’re the best.
Dear Susan, Thank you for this piece. Reading it stirred varied feelings in me. And please excuse if my thoughts a maybe a bit disjointed. I am still struggling with my own health and concentration.
I notice I feel resistance when language carries strong appeals about what “we must” or “we should” do - I find my body tenses, wanting space to arrive at understanding through my own exploration rather than through conviction. At the same time, I recognize many parallel conclusions in your writing to ones I’ve reached through my own inquiry.
I’m drawn to your emphasis on interconnectedness as essential for peaceful coexistence. I find myself wondering about the foundation underneath - specifically, how the very language and communication patterns we’ve inherited shape what becomes possible. I notice I hold a different orientation around the concept you name as transcendence. My experience suggests that turning toward what is present - the harm, the conditioning, the patterns we’ve learned - offers more possibility than moving beyond or above. I think of it as a kind of turning inward and downward, meeting what lives in our minds and bodies in this moment, opening our hearts to whatever we discover there rather than seeking to rise above it.
Your point about individual work resonates deeply with me, and I notice I want to expand it slightly. The work of examining each belief, value, conditioned behavior, and social norm I’ve followed - checking each against my inner being, my heart, my soul, and releasing what doesn’t align - this has been the most liberating practice of my life. I’m still engaged in it. This work has transformed how I meet the world.
Living in Germany, I’ve witnessed what happens when collective shame remains unaddressed. I’ve seen what occurs when societal reckoning happens for future generations but not for those who lived through upheaval and participated in it - when societies choose surface-level restructuring rather than addressing underlying shame and systemic foundations, as happened here unlike in South Africa’s truth and reconciliation process.
I’m grateful for the thinking you’ve shared.
Warmly,
Jay
I will do that. Thank you. Be well. Let Monty take care of you.
Thank you for this thoughtful response. I particularly appreciate this: “I’m drawn to your emphasis on interconnectedness as essential for peaceful coexistence. I find myself wondering about the foundation underneath - specifically, how the very language and communication patterns we’ve inherited shape what becomes possible. I notice I hold a different orientation around the concept you name as transcendence. My experience suggests that turning toward what is present - the harm, the conditioning, the patterns we’ve learned - offers more possibility than moving beyond or above. I think of it as a kind of turning inward and downward, meeting what lives in our minds and bodies in this moment, opening our hearts to whatever we discover there rather than seeking to rise above it.”
I couldn’t agree more. That language of transcendence is Maslow’s attempt at understanding the Blackfeet Nation’s interconnectedness. I also don’t think transcendence is a helpful way of framing this. I could have been clearer and taken issue with not only Jung, but Maslow, too. I was thinking he was pointing to the learned ability to set the ego aside and put the needs of the community before the needs of the ego. I could have been clearer.
I agree that the movement toward the self isn’t up, into transcendence, but “down and in,” into the human, into the body, into the problem. The cornerstone of my practice is the willingness to see it all and, most importantly, to feel it all.
Sorry about the “must” and “should” language. You’re right about that, too, of course, but the times here are so fraught. People are dying, and so many want retribution and revenge. And I feel the need to say: We must not do that. We must embrace our neighbors who voted for this. I feel that very strongly and reach for the strongest language I can find. I am yet, imperfect.
Susan, I see from your answer that we are on the same page. As you are often back what you write with scientific evidence I’d like to invite you to look up Thomas Gordon‘s Barriers to Communication. Unfortunately my other source is only available in German, apart from Non violent communication.
Ohhhhhh this. Yes yes yes.
This is the dilemma, so well articulated. Thanks for putting it into words for me. This is how I feel.
Ohhhhh, thank you, thank you, thank you. Sincerely. I never know when I click publish if I’ve just made a terrible mistake or not. I finally stopped caring, but I must admit, I still wonder.
Oh gosh. Definitely. It was sooo well voiced and I could feel your truth and heart in this piece. I so hear you about clicking “publish” and wondering…how we care but don’t care, we learn a bit of detachment yet also still wonder and are curious about. It is a courageous thing to put ourselves out there! I am being called to even more deeply share - without over exposing myself which doesn’t feel right AND also speaking from a depth inside of me that wants to be in the light.
Whew, Susan. This is really, really good. What's next? The sky is the limit if we surrender and dare to imagine how things could be, and yet surrendering feels so counter-intuitive at times--the addiction, like you say. For myself, I'd say it's an addiction to control, because being out of control is terrifying. But how many of us can truly feel in control right now? Now I have to go and ponder. This is also the part of my cycle where I decide that we should just go on all the fancy vacations because we're all doomed anyway-before the control part takes over again.
I’ve never met a writer or an aratist of any stripe who wasn’t obsessive and in control. Maybe that’s our shadow. I love that part, too though, almost as much as I love competence and a sense of mastery that editing gives me. My part in the give-up-cycle is where I find the perfect little house in the woods and all my needs are met and I live in nature as a comfortable hermit and let the rest of the world be damned,
Ah yes, the witch cottage! The collective dream!
I could be a Baba Yaga…
So much common sense in this. As a reader of Jung, struggling for “individuation” it became clear that does not occur outside of tribe. Tribe isn’t always family of origin but then that problem tracks exactly into what you diagnose here. Our toxic families are truly starved of the health of interconnection. We are running on fumes. Sending you many hearts of recognition.
Thank you so much, Janet. I think “tribe” is what many of us get from recovery programs and spiritual traditions and cobbled together communities. It’s the thing missing in Jung, in my humble, this bedrock belief in individualism. So often in the dominant culture our families of origin are so damaged they cannot hold us. Mine was. Thank you for reading and commenting so thoughfully.
The Aftermath of a Cultural Shadow Eruption
Calling it like it is. :)
Yep. My job, as I see it.
:)
Sure, but maybe we have to change the advisory: "if you meet a billionaire along the road, kill him / or her, to taste." And add a codicil: "all assets over $50 million must be forfeit to a (real) 'sovereign wealth fund' with independent board members" - I have some nominees in mind, and I'm sure everyone else does too. Let’s take this ‘imagine’ game to its logical conclusion.
Brilliant as always, Roytwilliams. Made me snort-laugh, that line about billionaires on the road killed to taste.
:)
It writes itself (too many 'it's), but you know what I mean.
And ...
... maybe we have to change the advisory: "if you meet a billionaire along the road, kill him / or her, to taste." And add a codicil: "all assets over $50 million must be forfeit to a (real) 'sovereign wealth fund' with independent board members" - I have some nominees in mind, and I'm sure everyone else does too. Let’s take this ‘imagine’ game to it’s logical conclusion.
Right to the heart of the matter, as always. Imagine, indeed. Imagine all the people, living life in peace…
Just discovered your writing today. You are brilliant. You have written the truth. When my father hit rock bottom, he chose to exit society.
https://open.substack.com/pub/celestialspheres/p/capitalism-killed-my-father?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=10gwf0
Although I miss my father, I have been grateful that he did not have to see the ugliness our country has descended into. However, what he saw was ugly enough. Thank you for your beautiful essay.
Right back at you. I just discovered your writing today, too. Well, met, Sister. Well met. I’m so sorry for both our dads. Now, we must change things.
This is the best, most brilliant, genius writing ever. I agree with you almost 100%. Where I differ:
"How do you tell a raging alcoholic how much better life can be if they would just stop drinking?" Not drinking is just the preparation for the work. Drinking is the manifestation and coping mechanism employed to bury the things that are at the core of our dysfunction. It has to happen to be able to meet humility and join with it. There are a lot of people who have stopped drinking who aren't close to sobriety at all. They're just not drinking. It's not the same. I know you know this, but it might be misconstrued.
And, this, "This means reparations, surely it does, because what are reparations but another way to say amends?" Again, reparations if they're financial are only a payoff, a transaction unless the attitude/behaviors that fueled the necessity for reparations in the first place, change. Then it's an amends, not a temporary bandage. I had to learn in program that making an amends is not the same as an apology. That clarification made such a huge difference in my understanding of what recovery truly is. And your essay speaks so brilliantly to true amends by creating a massive cultural shift and transformation of toxic belief systems that are killing the planet and the humans and other animals who reside here, because of Grace. I do believe, more than ever, that the gods aren't going to stand for much more of this crap we've created.
If we don't get our shit together, there will come a time (and it's not that far away), that we all get kicked out of the garden again. Eve didn't deserve it. But we will. We have so many riches. It's time to stop squandering them, look Love in the eye, and say, "I surrender. I need to learn a better way. I love you, Susan Kacvinsky. Grace put you in my life. xo
I can't believe my response to you didn't post, or I clicked off before finishing it. IDK, but I loved your thoughtful response, and all your points are well taken. You're right about reparations, too, being only a transaction unless we do the full Truth and Reconciliation process and really change. Otherwise, it's only money, though I'm sure many would say the money matters, too. Finally, I may be too hopeful, but I think we are in the messy process of getting our shit together, which always begins with seeing the extent of the problem. I think that's what a shadow eruption is. I surrender to the whole mess, to seeing it, to doing better. I'm so glad you are in my life, too.