14 Comments
User's avatar
Amanda C. Sandos's avatar

Oh man! All this and bamboo elephants, too?!! This is stunning and intense and SO beautiful. Thank you for this encouraging, hopeful, realistic look at our relationships with death.

Expand full comment
Susan Kacvinsky's avatar

Thank you so much, Amanda! It was quite the experience. Writing this novel is showing me to me, if that makes any sense.

Expand full comment
roytwilliams's avatar

Phew. Ganesh in bamboo. What a way to meet. I still rage about the "dying of the light". And my partner used to have a fear of going blind (she nearly did.) But I'm learning ...

I met death only once, really. We were staying at a friend of my mother's house, with a deep pool carved (carefully) into the hill-side, covered with indigenous trees. Idyllic? My partner took me one side when we got there that morning, and said: stay close to the edge of the pool. I knew her well. I had no need to question.

Sometime later (still at the edge of the pool) I noticed my niece (aged 5, a virtual twin of our own first-born) approach the edge of the pool, peer into the depths, and tumble, down, down. Her two big eyes tumbling, disappearing. I reached down and grabbed. something. pulled her up and out, where my partner checked her breathing. No fuss. No alarms.

Later that night, my partner said: 'I saw those two big eyes, disappearing, in a dream, last night. That's why I told you to stay at the edge of the pool.' 'Right' I said. We sat for a while in silence. In some way, she always knew.

Expand full comment
Susan Kacvinsky's avatar

Wow. So powerful, the partner, the dream, the moment. Glad you both were there and for the advance warning of that dream.

Expand full comment
roytwilliams's avatar

Thank you for opening up that space (so circuitously). :))

Expand full comment
Kelly Thompson TNWWY's avatar

👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼bingo

Expand full comment
Susan Kacvinsky's avatar

Thanks Kelly! So great.

Expand full comment
Louise Rosager's avatar

So profound Susan. The Mechanism! It's about the mechanism! And I can already see how these deeply felt insights you're arriving at are shaping the novel. It is becoming a timeless work, so necessary for our culture.

Expand full comment
Susan Kacvinsky's avatar

Oh thank you. You’re right about the mechanism having only one drive - self preservation. That’s why it’s so ruthless. Your words about the novel go right into my heart. My conversations with you drive the narrative deeper. I’m so grateful you are in my life.

Expand full comment
TOM KACVINSKY's avatar

So profound. This adds so much to your work.

Expand full comment
Susan Kacvinsky's avatar

Thank you Tom. I appreciate you so much.

Expand full comment
Nan Tepper's avatar

This is SO brilliant. By George, I think you've got it! The more I let go of my fear of death, the more peaceful and calm I become. I'm able to open my heart more, hear more (especially from people I disagree with), and the more grounded I become in my understanding that I can only deal with things as they present themselves, one day, one moment, at a time. When I begin to perseverate about the future it's a message that I need to return to grace and bring myself back to the present in order to balance myself. It's a message that fear is trying to take over. I'm grateful for hearing that message. We all die. xo

Expand full comment
Susan Kacvinsky's avatar

Yes and yes again. Staying present is the discipline practiced just like that. Noticing. Thank you for being a great friend. Love you.

Expand full comment
Nan Tepper's avatar

Love you right back!

Expand full comment